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Introducing: the weird author

Don't let the normal-looking picture deceive you.

Age of subject is unknown. The following have been observed: the stuffed animal obsession of a child, the back pain of a senior citizen, the mindset of a bitter middle-aged Karen, and the appearance requiring an ID at the bar.

Subject's thoughts are in Times New Roman. Emotions may be italicized. Caps lock is used liberally when driving.

Caution is recommended when coffee, animals, books, or ice cream is present. May spontaneously combust with excessive squealing noises.

Do not touch when subject is performing math. Known to break a rib. Yours, that is.

In case of emergency,  restrain subject with soft blanket and feed it. Subject responds well to carbs. 

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Anchor 2

Introducing: the weird cat

Unidentified creature responds to cheese and the name "Saunee." Eats tuna. 

Creature emits motor-like sounds and vibrations when given warmth and massages. Will abruptly flee.

Expression of terror and/or psychosis is normal. May stare into your soul relentlessly.

Speaks in unknown language. Very talkative. Demonstrates inconsistent wants and needs with high expectations.

Seeks entrance to forbidden locations.

Introducing: this weird website

No data available.

We honestly have no idea.

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