Introducing: the weird author
Don't let the normal-looking picture deceive you.
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Age of subject is unknown. The following have been observed: the stuffed animal obsession of a child, the back pain of a senior citizen, the mindset of a bitter middle-aged Karen, and the appearance requiring an ID at the bar.
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Subject's thoughts are in Times New Roman. Emotions may be italicized. Caps lock is used liberally when driving.
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Caution is recommended when coffee, animals, books, or ice cream is present. May spontaneously combust with excessive squealing noises.
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Do not touch when subject is performing math. Known to break a rib. Yours, that is.
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In case of emergency, restrain subject with soft blanket and feed it. Subject responds well to carbs.
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Introducing: the weird cat
Unidentified creature responds to cheese and the name "Saunee." Eats tuna.
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Creature emits motor-like sounds and vibrations when given warmth and massages. Will abruptly flee.
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Expression of terror and/or psychosis is normal. May stare into your soul relentlessly.
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Speaks in unknown language. Very talkative. Demonstrates inconsistent wants and needs with high expectations.
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Seeks entrance to forbidden locations.
Introducing: this weird website
No data available.
We honestly have no idea.